Wednesday 's when we get to it.

That's one of my favorite lines from Rango.

I'm back.  When I have something to say, I might just put it down here.  There's been an incredible desire to write. It is cathartic.  It is challenging.  It is what I love.  Not just blog posts.  I want to write a story.  

A full story.

I don't know where to start, which makes it a little frustrating.  How on earth am I going to dominate the Best Seller stand if I don't know where to begin?  

Someone wanna cowrite with me? We'll go on crazy adventures. It'll be great.

Feminism

I am feeling a little feminist today.  A debate I heard on the radio about freedom of speech vs corporate owned cyberspace sent me on a mental tangent down the path of how women are treated, how they expect to be treated, and what is ok so far as small abuses that must be endured because we wear our nasty bits on the inside.

I want to be a feminist without the anger and contempt for the masculine and feminine.

My daughter is sort of the catalyst for the way I think about these things now.  How a handful of words uttered in her presence can make me cringe.

It makes me a little upset to hear the older brother telling her what she can and can't do when they play because she's a girl.  He learned it from somewhere.  Since I spend every freaking minute of the day with them, I suppose a fat lot of that learning lands in my lap.

Today is a day of change.  I need to start setting the rules of what is acceptable and what is not.  The sense of boundaries has to start with me.  If she wants to play with Legos or the boy animals or pretend she's a Teenage Mutant  Ninja Turtle, then by golly, she should be able to.

Husband and I have started cutting things out of the way we talk to the kids.  "You [verb] like a girl." doesn't belong here anymore.  Being a girl should never be an insult.  Likewise, we want her to feel proud of the good things we notice in her.  Little girls are more than just pretty or bossy.  They are inventive, imaginative, rambunctious, silly, compassionate, intelligent, and a whole host of others.

If the older brother and younger brother see this, then hopefully the respect for womanhood will rub off on them.  None of them should hear a joke about "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" None should have to feign a smile or set someone straight for being a horse's ass.  

I cry over Hallmark commercials and PSAs for sunscreen. I am a hormonal lunatic 1/4 of every month. I am strong in a way that torture tactics of sleep deprivation have only begun to break me after enduring it at the hands of my children for years.

I won't list out my feminine saving graces, as most of you know me, I won't try to pull a fast one over on you like that.  But I think I am in possession of a few characteristics that are uniquely associated with the feminine balance in the universe, and I am not weaker for them. 

I am a woman. 

I am mighty.

Back on the Wagon

Time to get back in the habit. Babbysnail, the girl child, is getting older, but not bigger. Her white-blond hair is growing in. The kid has an super dark tan already. The way her body is proportioned makes her look something like a very cute lollipop on a stick. Sister has been potty training herself. I'm really ok if she doesn't want to wear a diaper. Really! I'm veeeeeeery excited at the prospect of diaper duty for only one. However, she has followed in her brother's wet footsteps. Angry peeing is a part of my life again. I just hope it passes quickly. Since last post, we've had another baby. The Fat Man came to us in December. That was an adventure that deserves its own post. He and the Babbersnail are about the same size. They are only separated by a few pounds and inches. He's closing the gap quickly. The hubs is at a new job where he doesn't travel so much. (Yeah!) Elias is a helpful little guy. Polite and sweet. I think I'll go ahead and keep him. Especially for the moments where he asks me to tell him how wonderful he is. Also because he loves myths and volunteers to set the table. He's four. How excellent is that? But mostly because when we play the "I love you bigger than..." game, he wins with "I love you bigger than grapes." I am up to my eyeballs in children and half finished projects. There's some painting to be finished, a table to be sanded and restrained, and a practice chest of drawers to practice using chalk paint upon. Thanks to Pintrest I have a million more ways to make trouble just piling up in my mind. I have also discovered the sewing machine. Who knew they were so darn uh-may-zing? I LOVE sewing. Making everyone something to wear to the Ren Fair (I WILL get there in 2012!) is high on my list of tugs to do too. I have a cape for Babbysnail that looks pretty great for a first try at pattern reading and figuring out needles and thread and all those other meddlesome things. Too bad the little monkey won't wear it. She did for a few minutes after I made it, and the Imperial song from Star Wars was never more appropriately hummed. Ugh. Nothing like textual vomit. Apologies to anyone reading.

On punishment...

Elias has been potty trained since September. He's good about telling us when he needs to use the restroom. He can even undress himself and take care of his business solo.

Hooray for my big boy!

Abigail was born in September. Elias has been a little jealous of her, but not in a mean way. Instead, he pinches and scratches and does naughty little things of the like for attention.

I could tell him no and redirect him all day. It didn't work.
I whooped his bottom hoping that might do the trick. Wrong.
I started putting him in time-outs. Two minutes on the second stair. Jackpot! He hates it. Even threatening him with it makes the kid cry and say he's sorry.

He's decided to punish me when I follow through. When I do anything that he doesn't like. He will just pee all over everything.

When I put him on the step for timeout, he pees all over it. When I tell him no, he pees on whatever is there. And he knows I can't stand it and that there is absolutely nothing I can do to to keep him from it.

This is a frustrating stage. I'm sure one day when he brings his sweetheart home that the angry peeing will be the source of much giggling.

Videos of The Guy

Bryce's new iPhone 3GS takes video. He hasn't let the function go to waste. I think the bacon video is the best, but you can check 'em out and let me know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sybgeWRHp8

You can check out the other videos Bryce has made by looking on the right and selecting a video from the Related Videos tab. For those of you who don't know what www.youtube.com is yet. (Mom. I'm talking to you.)

Brushing Teeth

So no pictures for this one. Sorry.

Today when I went to brush my teeth, I was completely grossed out to find a lump of hardened toothpaste in the tube. It was brand new and I didn't leave the cap off. The lump was coming from inside the tube. SICK! But I thought, well, I'll just squish it out and then start with toothpaste that is pasty--like toothpaste should be. What I thought was a lump turned out to be a stick! I kept pressing the tube and this hardened bit of toothpaste kept coming out. At this point I flip into outraged customer who will go tell her husband, but not call the company.

Turns out it was not lumpy toothpaste. It was my son who had gotten to it first. Elias's new love is Q-Tips. Pair his new found love of Q-Tips with his love for putting things into other things and you have the answer to the mystery.

I need to watch that kid closer and keep nothing in drawers that aren't locked.

Insomnia

No more soda after 5:00 p.m.
None.